To my past loves, flings and everything in between,
Each of you holds a special place in my history that's helped me become the person I am today. Without each of you, I would have never found out who I truly was, who I really wanted to be, or who I wanted to be with. This isn't a bashing post about how terrible they were , instead, this is a thank you to them for helping me in their own way. There are three who stand out the most: my first boyfriend, my first husband, and the major love before I found my one true love, my husband.
My first-ever boyfriend. I was 18 years old and living away from home for the first time. You showed me someone could actually like me no matter what size I was. You helped me build my confidence. While it was only six months, you started me on a journey to try and be OK with myself.
For some, this may come as a shock, but he's my first husband. I was 19, naive, and wanted to be loved. I fell head over heels in for you almost instantly. You were older, American and a just came out of the U.S. Navy. You tried to teach me to think for myself, be independent and be free. But we went about it the wrong way. You will always have a special place in my heart. No matter how terribly it ended. I will always want the best for you.
You were one of those great loves. You had me wrapped around your finger. I thought I was the happiest I could be while my eating disorder, bi-polar and borderline personality disorder went unchecked. I lost control. You tried to be supportive, but you knew me a someone who was a "Yes Woman". I gave you an out before I went off to Homewood, but you tried to be noble and stay the course. You gave me a moment that was straight out of a romantic movie that I will always remember with a big smile on my face. But as I became stronger, I was no longer the girl you knew. You were a great love, but you also destroyed me. In the end though, I con't blame you for anything that happened. We tried to be in love through a set of extraordinary circumstances. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
These three, and the other flings in between, made me who I am, but also helped lead me into the arms of the man of my dreams - Peter, who I think needs a special shout out.
Peter (or Petey)
Peter, my one true love, my ride or die, is the greatest love I could ever ask for. I remember the night I wrote my list. Did I every tell you about this infamous list? I wrote it after reading the book The Secret. I was over the whole dating scene, with guys who were not good enough or just feeling like a waste of time. I decided to put together a list of the qualities and traits my ideal guy would have. The list consisted of things like:
- Have a sense of humour
- Able to handle legit crazy
- Can teach me something knew
- Knows where the Taj Mahal is located (an ex didn't know this)
And then you came into my life, about six months after I published it. Through ups and downs, we continue to stay the course. We are two peas in a pod who truly believe it's us against the world. Petey, you are my everything. You make me be a better person. You bring out my best self. You have taught me to truly be strong, independent and bold. I love you with all my heart.
Without the others before, you may never have come into my world.
So to my past loves, flings and everything in between, thank you. Because without you, I wouldn't know the great love I have today.
*Inspired by the book To All the Boys I've Loved Before